Dear Men/Boys Who Want To Sleep With Me…

“A hesitant man is the last thing in the world a woman needs. She needs a lover and a warrior,
not a Really Nice Guy”  ~ John Eldredge

My dream crush: Brad Pitt? Meh. Steve Carell?
He makes me smile and tingle all over 🙂
He is so good at being himself.

So call me strange, but since when did a smile and “How are you?” translate into “I want to have sex with you?”


I am a kind, caring, compassionate person. I genuinely care about you when I ask how your day was. I worry about you. I want to be there for you. But that doesn’t mean I want to sleep with you!!!!!

If you are looking for someone you don’t have to put time or effort into, please move along. There are a sea of ‘those’ women at your local bar or club. They will be happy to indulge you in a shallow superficial and physical only encounter.

What ever happened to actually putting effort into getting to know someone? Earn their affections? Earn their trust? Make them fall in love with you?

Unbeknownst to all of you, I watch your every move. I can ‘see’ pretty damn quick if you are acting a certain way to impress me or be someone you are not. QUIT TRYING SO HARD! You disgust me with your fakeness.

I came here with a ‘real’ meter detector. I can see inside a person and tell whether or not their intentions are true. I will sniff you out in no time flat, and WARNING, my powers are getting stronger, so many of you are already screwed before you start.

I watch you. I study you. I notice every little thing you say and then notice when you contradict yourself.

I listen how you talk to your mother. I watch how you treat other people, especially strangers.

I hear you when you call your neighbor a ‘fucking faggot’ and then hear you when you say how ‘open minded’ you are and respect people’s choices. You say this AFTER you find out I have a gay son. NEXT!!!!

You talk about how much money you have and how generous you are. But I ‘see’ you stiff the waitress on her tip who just gave us AMAZING service. I don’t even have a job and I would have tipped her twice the amount you did. NEXT!!!!

You are cheap as all hell, but you say you aren’t. You have to google the cheapest gas station? Srsly? Who gives a shit about a 2 cent difference? What a waste of time. I cannot stand cheap penny pinchers who hold onto their money like their life depends on it. NEXT!!!!!!

Look in the mirror. Do you want to fuck you? What makes you think I want to fuck you? Now, look even deeper at your character… would you fall in love with you? Why would I want to fall in love with you? And I really don’t give two shits when you say, “But I’m a really nice guy.” Yeah, the world is full of ‘really nice guys’. NEXT!!!

You don’t put any effort into yourself. Can you at least smell good and manage basic grooming skills? Those hairs coming out of your nostrils really don’t make me want to kiss you. Nor do the dirty clothes you keep putting on without wearing any socks or underwear because you are too damn lazy….EWWWWWW! NEXT!!!

Don’t try to flirt with me and have an emotional affair with me WHILE YOU ARE STILL MARRIED or currently in a relationship! It’s not my problem you choose to stay stuck. NEXT!!!

To the men/boys who automatically assume ‘I am out of their league’. Shame on you! I am more ‘in your league’ than you think. You are most likely miles ahead from all the douche bags hitting on me right now, thinking their abs will hypnotize me into their beds. Vomit.

I am not addressing the women who want to sleep with me, because they are light years ahead of you and have already figured this out.

So to all the men and boys who think I want to sleep with you (and I just might), either put in some sincere effort or quit wasting my time, because I don’t give this shit out for free!


~ by Heather on November 25, 2014.

7 Responses to “Dear Men/Boys Who Want To Sleep With Me…”

  1. Nailed it! BooM


  2. Interesting post. I’ve looked in the mirror. some old guy stares back at me. How about pizza instead???


  3. Hee hee one of those days?


  4. I like your attitude. Wish my 55 year old twice divorced younger sister could/would pick up at least some of your points and stop giving the losers that seem to be drawn to her (and vice versa) the chance to prove how nasty they really are!


    • I guess each gets there in their own time. I’m sure others say the same thing about me 🙂 Like, what the hell took her so long!?!? I watch my friends teenage daughters have more self confidence and conviction then I have now. It’s never too late to change what’s not working. Your sister may or may not get there. Be glad you didn’t make the same mistakes!


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