The Traveling Love Prostitute

“The Traveling Love Prostitute”

2015-01-007(c)2015 HLeigh

I’m a little bit crazy, a little bit sane, some might say ‘crazy sane’ is my middle name.

I can teach you how to smile again, laugh out loud, play pretend. Tease you, tell you to ‘lighten up’, because no one but you decides on what’s ‘messing up’.

I can show you how to live a life that’s true, forget your troubles, say goodbye to the blues.

I am tired of waiting for the things that I dream, so now I approach life a little differently.

Go get what I want, love fully each day, be respectful and caring, always ready to play.

Because I realize that tomorrow, life might deal me a new hand, and all of my savings, all of my plans, could be doused in an instant, gone with the wind.

If loving freely and completely is forbidden sin… well, sign me up brother, ‘cause I play to win.

Every person on this planet wants the same basic thing. To be who they are and say what they say. To feel what they feel, not judged right or wrong, to have a voice and be heard, not play the same boring song.

I’m tired of the games of lies and deceit, trying to please others – an impossible feat. Why kill yourself trying, because no matter what you do, someone or something will have a bone to pick with you.

What if time was running out? What if you die before experiencing what life is all about?

Would you spend the rest of your days hiding in shame? Or scream from the top of your lungs, “I don’t give a fuck! I’m going out in flames!”

Is there anyone out there as crazy as me? Who’s looking for more and wants to be free? Who wants to be exactly who they were meant to be?

Can anyone be brought to the point of ecstasy, bathed in a pink sunset lounging by the sea? Who can lose their breath, and heart skip a beat getting drunk and lost in nature’s bounty?

Who wants to kick back and gulp in the moment right where we are? Who wants to share stories and compare battle scars?

Who wants to challenge me on, “Bet my childhood sucked more?” Who wants to play the game of, “Bet I am more of a truth telling whore?”

Who wants to laugh at the mundane and crazy things people do, poke fun at themselves and speak their own truths?

Who really just is tired and doesn’t give a rat’s ass, who they offend and who thinks that they’re crass?

If you fit this description, I’m looking for you…. a ‘crazy sane’ John/Jane to hire this traveling love prostitute.

(Currently accepting applications)


~ by Heather on January 6, 2015.

31 Responses to “The Traveling Love Prostitute”

  1. but my name isn’t “John”. and I’m more of a “ho” versus a “whore”. a “ho” doesn’t have a whole lotta class and dignity and besides I know a number of people over at my last place who would say I’m an a**hole anywho. is there a form to fill out or do we leave a business card in a goldfish bowl???


    • Hehe – so are you saying your interested in applying? I don’t discriminate based on what other people think of you…


      • well let’s just say that the list of those people is a very long but distinguished one. where’s the fish bowl? taking aps from old broken down war horses?


      • Old broken down war horses have the best stories. Send an email to 33heatherleigh at gmail .com
        Telling me why you are seeking this position and how hard I will have to work to get you to smile again. Where you want to go, why and what are a few things that make your heart smile. I must make my selection very carefully….. Travel STDs are rampant out there, so are posers….


      • oh, I had all my shots. stories? oh, I could talk your ears off. or tell you about the Rathaus in Munich and how it’s only about 115 years old even tho it looks like its 800 years old. or how Mad King Ludwig mysteriously drowned at Swan Lake even tho he was an expert swimmer.


      • B-O-R-I-N-G!!!
        Your stories only. Those should be the only ones your telling anyways. I can read about those in a book if I wanted.


      • like what I posted tonight?


      • If you are referring to your travel porn, yes….. Yes I did very much!
        You are such a travel tease srsly :p


      • hehehehehehehehe


  2. Totally Whole Heartedly Agreed 🙂


    • What PK? You totally wholeheartedly agree that I’m crazy sane? 😉


      • LoL I like the crazy sane can never be bored of that,
        But pleasing other people …
        That’s the thing that bores me most,
        I like the idea of going out with a bang!


      • Making other people happy can kiss my ass. Been there, done that. Ain’t nobody can make them happy other than themselves.
        B-O-O-M goes the dynamite 🙂


  3. I’ve been living outside the box for a long time now, it’s freeing


  4. Haha loved this. Love your free flow. Full of truth and goodness. I can totally relate especially the idea that everyone wants the same thing.


    • God I’m embarrassed by how you found my blog 😉 if you knew me you would laugh and be all, “Yep, that’s just heather alright”. Thanks for grabbing my attention today and I appreciate you taking time to check out my little blog. Glad my words resonated with you 🙂 Cheers!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thanks for your invested replies/comments. In a world that shouts “watch this, go there, eat that, look here, buy this, think this, don’t think that….and so on, I’m flattered i grabbed your attention Heather 🙂


      • Those worldly ways have never worked on me. I’m dancing off to the side to my own beat, just waiting for anyone who wants to come dance with me 🙂

        Everybody is so busy plowing forward they never stop to turn their heads. You must be a head turner alright…. I like your dance moves. You got some good rhythm. Boogie on fellow dancer

        Liked by 1 person

      • Haha, boy do i like to dance. I can’t not turn my head and notice this beauty all around us. As I’m sure you’ve heard, a beautiful site is someone dancing like no ones watching. I’m picturing a field with nothing but rolling meadows and mountains and dancing there in total freedom with no one but the animals to watch in total confusion while God grins from ear to ear. This is possible in New Zealand 🙂


      • I think god has been grinning a lot lately. Just a hunch 😉
        You are so lucky to live there!!!! Do you photograph? If so I would love to see pics of NZ in action from the perspective of someone currently dancing there. I’m working on exploring my new home this year and sharing photos as well 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • No not really. I haven’t had a camera really and only recently got a smart phone. I think (and this is just my view not necessarily reality) growing up around people that would try photograph and film what seemed like every little event regardless of how i felt about it (as if it was so important) and then do nothing with the footage except add it to piles of un developed films and un watched video, has left me valuing the reality of the moment as most precious and settling for just a memory as a trigger for that beautiful moment in time that was un interrupted. I only joined facebook a few months ago so i am now seeing a benefit of a camera for sharing moments, hence the smart phone.


      • I still haven’t joined Facebook. Maybe one day, but for now it’s not for me. Smartphones take incredible pics now and I love going back and scrolling through them. It’s an instant high. I also get so excited I want to share that moment with anyone who will give me the time of day 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Now you know you can sign me up gf!!!!!


  6. I completely agree 😀


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